FRIENDZ.EE

Dear Heart,

Have you ever heard of the saying "Friends come a dime a dozen"? Not to sound egotistical or just big headed...but.it is e.z.er for me to make friends...I have that personality.edge.spontaneity.and the exuberance!!!

"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulates" Through my life I have lost friends and have never seen or heard from them.unless they started hating me.then i saw them often...my mom always says that ppl can have many friends and best-friends...but through life you are only going to have at least 1 no more than 3 trully good friends...

I figure love is the same way...you will have at least 1 love in your life but no more than 3...and I mean true love...not this puppy love and meaningless bullshit. I figure I am on my 1st...the first time doesn't count...I WAS NAIVE!!!

I don't want to over exhaust myself on some FRIENDZ.EE of love with 1 of my best-friends...but bcuz I put the passion into our friendship...I lost a friend.HE WASN'T REALLY A GOOD FRIEND FROM THE START....now to think about it...but he definitely would make a beautiful LOVER.



Love,

The Mind

IMPERFECTLY PERFECT

Dear Heart,


His TEETH are not straight...but they are perfect
His HAIR doesn't smell good...but it is fragrant
His FACE isn't acne free...but it is beautiful
His BODY isn't athletic...but it is godly
His HEART isn't pure...but it is honey
His MIND isn't advanced...but it is quick
He is GAY(homosexual)...but he is straight

HE IS IMPERFECTLY PERFECT...and YOU want HIM



Love,


The Mind

Caught

Dear Heart,


Dedicated to LT...I know how ya feel!!!

You know how they say "anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart."

You were caught...through life we have dipped in the pond many of times(many many many times) and they were "good catches" but while we were fishing...you got hooked.

Who would've thought him...OUT OF ALL PEOPLE...

Through life I only had one love...and it was a treacherous disaster...I VOWED neva to do that again...but SOMEONE SPECIAL caught you...

How could that be? How special is he to you? Why do you still cry? Why does your heart still drop? Why do I shake and quiver? Why can I not let you go?


You're caught!!! and i can't let go...I am going to die if I don't get to you!!! But you won't let me in...you are caught by my childhood illusions but I must turn towards my adult disillusions...SO I SIT HERE AND NOTHINGS CHANGED...only...WE AREN'T TOGETHER!!!!



Love,


The Mind

THE BATTLE

Dear Heart,


Disappoint- verb. 1.To fail to fulfill the expectations or wishes of:
2. To let LT down

Seeing LT(my left hand) mad and upset was like looking at my dad the first time he caught me high!!! I don't ever want to see LT look that way towards me!!!! For once in my life...you and I were on the same page...we both felt bad and it killed my high...


Happy- adjective. 1. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.
2. Keep Reggie Smiling

On the other hand I have Reggie (my right hand) him and I be on the same page...when I am with him I don't see anything as being wrong...I see everything as being right! Seeing him smile again reminded me of a child upset about losing a toy and then overjoyed when they get a new toy!!! I was blank, you were blank...after the blunt. Only thing you knew was he was happy!!!!


This battle is tough...I don't want to disappoint LT but I also want to make Reggie happy...and if that means giving into what Reggie wants then I would do it...but I don't want to disappoint...


The battle is getting intense...but only one person will win...AND THAT IS ME!!!! I am going to do what makes me happy...but what makes me happy??? I am happy when everyone else is happy and overjoyed!!!!



MISSION IMPOSSIBLE...


Love,


The Mind

Instinct

Dear Heart,

I see the river flowing, its instinct is to go where ever the wind blows it...Now I see the bird flying, going against the wind, its instinct is food, safety, and shelter...Now you have us...completely free spirited, instinct...DESIRE!!!!


They say you can have whateva your heart desires...but what you desire is what you don't get!!! you desire...him! I desire...




Love,

The Mind

BEAT!!!!

Dear Heart,


FUCK YOU...We are fucking done I am never listening to you again, you are a BITCH!!! Your fucking blackkk magic...I despise, loathe, grotesque you...you do nothing for me but cause me pain and agony!!!!


FUCK LIFE...Life is full of shit and shitty ass people. I know they say your life is full of hurt and pain, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...WELL I JUST FUCKING DIED... THXXX...YOU'VE DONE NOTHING for me!!!


FUCK LOVE...LOve is bullshit. There is no such thing as love, because ppl are corrupt and love is lost...GOLDDIGGIN SONS OF BITCH, FAKE ASS LOVERS, SEXXX ADDICTS(THATS ME), AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT AREN'T IN LOVE AND SAY THEY ARE...FUCK LOVE!!!!


FUCK YOU HEART...IM DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME...JUST DO YOUR JOB AND BEAT!!!

Love is BLIND!!!

Dear Heart,

LOVE IS BLIND...I hear that often. But what exactly does that mean? Does it mean that I will fall in love with anyone that shows me affection? Does that mean that I will love whoever you choose? seeing that you have no eyes and no sensory to my eyes, maybe that is what it is.


But how do you choose? What are you feeling when you pick the "one" for me? Why is the one I love him? Even though he hurts me I still love him...no matter how hard I tell you that he is no good for me...you somehow give me this false hope and I am tired of it...y can't i just love myself and no one else? I hate this...I hate that the ones I love don't love me the same way...it breaks me, it kills me, I have no hope for LOVE!!!!


LOVE IS BLIND...and apparently you are too! How can you love someone, out of all people, that person? when you and I both know that we will never be...I can't help but to think that I was in love with the thought of being with him, that my countless drive and persistence won't stop until I know for sure that we weren't meant to be...I can give to shits about the situation he is in...Heart you better get me that boy or we are through...MY MIND IS TAKING OVA, WHO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU?


Sincerely,



The Mind

WOW!!!! WTF...SERIOUSLY!

Dear Heart,

WTF??? Ok so I wrote him just like you told me to do...I spoke from you...all of it was natural. Well except for the part where I was a little light headed from the black I had smoked a lil earlier.


I wrote a fucking page...A WHOLE FUCKING PAGE...to him about how I miss him, how I miss his fone calls, his thousands of text in a row just to wake me up to tell me something, and the most impacting thing to me is the scent of him that isn't in my bed...


I must say heart you know what your doing...I still think love isn't for me...TODAY!!! i just found out something that has made me realize why I may never have love in my life...I still love him but we can never be...and from them this point on I am OK with it...I am happier and I have my true friends...yes you my sole follower...and you know who else!!!!



WOW!!!!! WTF....SERIOUSLY!...........I QUOTE FROM 1 OF MY BESTIES "FUCK NIGGAS"
i AM NoW aCcEpTinG AppLicAtiOns FoR OthR PosSibLe "BFITWWW" HAHAHAHA...BUT SERIOUSLY

Should I?

Dear Heart,

Should I give into you? I want to talk to him so bad, but I don't know IF I have the mind to do it...I know you can...but talking to him I have to use both, we have to learn how to work together...I MISS HIM...but my mind kept telling me NO you don't need him!!! But my heart is telling me all the things that I enjoyed about him, all the feelings we had for each other and how much I love him...


So tonight I'm giving in...you WON!!! I facebooked him and now I sit and wait...I hope that you know what your doing...because as far a my mind is concerned...I'm LOST!!!!



I WILL END THE MESSAGE AS...



P.S. I LOVE YOU!!!


With Love,

THE MIND

Day and Nite

Dear Heart,

"Day and Night, I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind...Now look at this madness to magnet keep attracting me...I think I'm first but surely I finish last..."


Kid Cudi
Day and Night

All day I think about this song and its meaning to me. Now I know its about bud heads but for some odd reason I can't stop connecting this to my mind. "I think, therefore I am" but you feel and not think, why are you so foolish? it makes me mad when you don't listen, when you do your own thing. I get upset and I cry because your feelings are so strong, it overshadows my brain, how could you allow yourself to be so naive to love? I keep telling you over and over again, everyday, all day, don't feel for him, but day and night that's all you do is feel. I know its hard seeing him, but that feeling in you has to...no!!! NEEDS to subside.

"It seems the feelings that she had are through...Cause day and night the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night..."


Kid Cudi
Day and Night

Here We Go...Again!!!!

Dear Heart,

Remember the first time you were broken, remember how much it hurt? How much you cried? how much you hated life and everyone in it? Why do you constantly like that feeling? I tell you to turn your switch off, stop feeling things for people, go about your day worrying about yourself. But NOOOOOO you want to be broken. How many times must you be hurt before you know to stop?

Now here we go...again!!!